EACH DAY WE LEARN SOMETHING NEW

Enjoying a glass in the new sunroom

It is hard to say what the future really holds, but we have started to put some things into place.  We added on an extension to our house, where my husband can be on one level and doesn't have to contend with stairs, although, I still take him upstairs for his meals as I want to at least add some diversity to his days.  The new extension consists of a living room with a sun deck, where he can enjoy the morning sun which looks onto the sea and mountain.  He has always loved music and so we play his CD's for him.   I have heard that music is especially therapeutic for people with Dementia. About 6 months ago he started telling us that all his CD's were missing and broken, but what he was doing was taking them out of their cases and throwing all the cases down.  So, what I decided to do, was to buy him a CD album, which stores about 100 CD's and he can still manage to flip through it and choose a CD.  We have also installed railings on the stairs and this is a tremendous help as his balance has become really bad.  He used to take our dog Lucy for a short walk each day but now he is starting to get lost and so my special needs son goes with him.  Very important for him to at least get his legs moving and blood flowing.  It was such a struggle to get him into the car and put his seat belt on, so now we put him into the back seat of the car, which is much easier.  He was always a man that took showers and now we have discovered that bathing him in the tub is the way to go.  I put a natural bubble bath into the water as he has difficulty finding the soap.  At least the bubbles give him an overall clean.. he needs help with teeth brushing and I have started to put a mouthwash into a spray bottle and after brushing his teeth for him, I spray the mouthwash into his mouth.  Shaving was quite a mission too, until I found this little mini shaver, which works like a charm.  Luckily our bathtub has a shower head, which makes it easy to wash his hair.  I have also moved him into his own room as he snores badly and as his carer, I need to get some decent sleep!
 I take him to the grocery store once a week and I park the trolley and tell him to stand next to it and wait for me as I scurry around and do the shopping.  It is a bit overwhelming for him, but at least he gets to see some of the outside world.  Meals are a bit of a challenge but he still manages to feed himself with some assistance and cutting up his food for him helps.  So, each day we seem to find a new way to cope and make things a little easier for him and us. 

TOUGHEN UP AND GET ON WITH IT

I have always been told that I am a strong person and I like to believe this is true, but boy am I being tested!  I trained as a nurse and interestingly enough I gravitated towards the elderly -I just love them and there are many patients that I remember that I nursed, who remind me of my husband.....wow, is it standing me in good stead now! Amazing how life works!  I reckon my husband did well in choosing me as his wife. So, what is the plan for him and our family.......

ACCEPTING THAT MY HUSBAND HAS DEMENTIA

It was one thing to find out that my husband of 57 was diagnosed with Dementia, but I think it has taken me at least 2 years to actually accept and believe it. Sometimes he can seem so "normal" when he talks to people he hasn't seen for a long time or has brief conversations with people in passing.  They will say to me "he seems fine".  Oh how this can make you feel even worse, as you clearly know that he is not fine, hence the lonely illness. I wonder if I have truly accepted it?

EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA-THE DIAGNOSIS

Our family has found ourselves faced with a very sad and lonely illness - Dementia!  Just over 2 years ago, my husband who has just turned 59 was diagnosed with a very rare form of Dementia called "corticobasal degeneration". I was told by a neurologist that it is not inherited, although, I remember his grandfather very well who was supposed to have Alzheimers and it seems to me, that he may have had the same thing! For a long time prior to his diagnosis, I knew something just wasn't right.  I thought he was depressed, but he also showed signs of confusion with spatial awareness.  The first experience with this was when he walked straight off the wall outside my daughter's school.  Another time when we were scattering my mom's ashes on the cliff paths, we suddenly looked around and he was not with us, we found him wandering around the parking lot.  The diagnosis was shattering to our family and his friends and I would like to share this journey for him, myself, my children, friends and family and whoever else out there, who might be coping with a loved one who has Dementia...............it's a long road ahead!